Top 5 Unsung New England Patriots

Since 2001 The New England Patriots have been a dynasty. They've won four Superbowls, been to six, had an undefeated regular season and have boasted Hall of Fame talent on offense, defense and special teams. The Patriots have had 3 constants throughout their success, owner Bob Kraft, head coach Bill Bellichick and quarterback Tom Brady. Along the way they've had special players, coaches and front office staff that paved the way for this incredible 16 year run. The names are a who's who in Patriots lore. Tedy Bruschi, Ty Law, Richard Seymour, Mike Vrabel, Willie Mcginnest, Lawyer Milloy, Rodney Harrison, Rob Gronkowski, Randy Moss, Julian Edelman, Matt Light, Logan Mankins, Dan Koppen, Corey Dillon and on and on. 

There are some players who's contributions have been lost to history. Whether they had just one moment in the sun or it wasn't heavily covered by the media, some players contributed to championships or special moments that people seem to have forgotten. These 5 guys seem to get no credit at all for championship teams they were apart of so its time to pay tribute to them.

5. Jonas Gray

 The only one on this list who's contribution was not during the playoffs but his contribution was definitely significant. Jonas Gray was originally signed as a rookie free agent by the Miami Dolphins following the 2012 draft. He suffered a knee injury in college and was unable to contribute to the Dolphins that season. The following year was spent rotting on the Baltimore Ravens practice squad. In 2014 he was on the Patriots practice squad when he was activated against the New York Jets. His one moment in the sun came against the Indianapolis Colts and their pathetic run defense. Using an extra offensive lineman to pound the ball, Gray rushed for 201 yards and four touchdowns as the Patriots thrashed the Colts 42-20. Gray became an instant star and made the cover of Sports Illustrated for his effort. Unfortunately for Gray, his shooting star crashed and burned as fast as it rose. The following week after the Colts game Gray was reportedly late for a team meeting and Belichick put him in the doghouse. He never got out as he was inactive for most of the rest of the season and was released in training camp the following year. He's bounced around on practice squads ever since. The Patriots used the blueprint in that Indy game and literally used the same exact gameplan in that season's AFC Championship game in a rematch with the Colts. LeGarrette Blount ran over the Colts to aid the Patriots to a 45-7 massacre that sent them to Superbowl. So even though his time in the spotlight was short, it sure was memorable even if it was for one week.


4. Josh Boyce

Misinformed NFL fans like to whine that the Patriots "cheat" to maintain their success year after year after year. The real reason to any of those uninformed termites reading this is quite frankly Belichick's 35-53 on the roster is better than yours. Belichick knows an NFL season is pure attrition. Injuries are part of the game and every year somebody is going to go down. Belichick is always three steps ahead by putting together a bottom of the roster rotation that can step in and contribute at any time. Not only that, he puts as much emphasis on the Practice Squad and practice itself as he does the main roster plus any regular season game. That's where Josh Boyce made his mark during the historic 2014 season.  Boyce was a 4th round draft pick in 2013 and he only made 9 catches before being placed on IR with a bad foot. The following year he was on the practice squad until Alfonzo Dennard was placed on IR and he was activated to the main roster in December 2014. His big moment came not in a game, but in practice during Superbowl 49 week. Playing the role of Ricardo Lockette, Boyce beat cornerback Malcolm Butler on a goal line pass that the Seattle Seahawks eventually ran in the Superbowl. Belichick told the rookie corner to get aggressive and make a beeline for the ball. Sure enough in Superbowl 49, the Seahawks got down to the 1 yard line with 45 seconds left and ran the exact same play the Patriots practiced during the week. This time Butler stepped in front of the real Lockette, intercepted the ball and sealed the victory for New England. All of that happened in some part due to Boyce being in the right place and the right time in practice in order for Butler to learn from it. That was it for Boyce in terms of production as he suffered a training camp injury in 2015 and missed the whole season. One of 19 guys that were on IR by the end of the year. So for the Patriots haters that can't imagine why they win year after year, look at Boyce. The guy barely played yet did his job in practice which led to a Superbowl victory.


3. Damon Huard

Its one thing to pull a Josh Boyce and be in the right place at the right time in practice once. Its another to be a quintessential practice player and peacemaker for 3 full seasons knowing you may never see the field. What Damon Huard accomplished from 2001-03 won't be on a stat sheet but anyone on the team those years will tell you just how important he was. Damon was signed as an undrafted rookie out of Washington U (teammates with future Patriots Lawyer Milloy and Cam Cleeland) by Cincinnati in 1996. He made his name as Dan Marino's top backup from 1997-2000 in Miami including a big win in 1999 over the Patriots that helped Miami make the playoffs that year. After Miami decided to go with Jay Fiedler following the 2000 season, Huard signed with the Patriots expecting to be backup to Drew Bledsoe. What no one saw coming but a select few was the rise of Tom Brady. Brady and Huard went head to head for the backup job in the 2001 pre-season with Brady winning. Bill Belichick even admitted that Brady had played better than Bledsoe but kept Bledsoe the starter because of Tom's inexperience. Then came Week 2 when New York Jets linebacker Mo Lewis put Drew Bledsoe in the hospital and Tom Brady became the stater. This is where Huard earned his money by simultaneously guiding Brady and calming down Bledsoe who never got his job back. Huard and Bledsoe kept things private to not cause a team distraction even after Belichick emphatically named Brady the starter going forward. Following the Patriots Superbowl 36 victory over the St Louis Rams, the Patriots traded Bledsoe to Buffalo and drafted quarterback Rohan Davey. For the next two seasons, once again Huard played the role of scout team QB and mentor to both Brady and Davey. His biggest contribution came in practice the week leading up to the AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Colts. Huard was assigned to imitate Peyton Manning including every idiosyncratic movement and gibberish coming out of his mouth. After the Patriots dispatched Manning and the Colts to win their second AFC crown in 3 years, Belichick gave the game ball to Huard for his role as Manning during the week. After another Superbowl victory over the Panthers, Huard moved on to the Kansas City Chiefs for the next 5 seasons, achieving marginal success. Still, for playing peacemaker, mentor, scout team QB and acting like Peyton Manning, Huard definitely did everything he was asked to do and more.


2. Sterling Moore

Unlike the previous 3 guys, Sterling Moore's contribution came during an actual playoff game on a pretty big stage. A lot of sport success stories have an obscure player making one little contribution to a championship winning team. Had Malcolm Butler not turned into a pro-bowl cornerback the last two seasons, he'd be the epitome of that with his Superbowl 49 interception. Little used Glenn McDonald coming off the bench for the Boston Celtics to help win a crucial NBA Finals game, little known Buster Douglas knocking out the previously unbeatable Mike Tyson, and little used Timmy Smith's 200 yards rushing in Superbowl 22. Sterling Moore was signed by the Oakland Raiders as an undrafted rookie in 2011 but was cut before the season started. He was signed to the Patriots practice squad for most of the regular season until late December. He managed 2 picks in a Week 17 win over Buffalo but his moment of glory came in the AFC Championship game against Baltimore. Leading 23-20 but with Baltimore driving in the Red Zone, Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco found Lee Evans in the end-zone with 25 seconds left but Moore heroically slapped the ball out of Lee's hands at the last second. Moments later, Ravens kicker Billy Cundiff missed a 32 yard field goal which sent the Patriots to Superbowl 46. Moore didn't make any radical plays in Superbowl 46 and returned to the practice squad the following year until he was signed by the Dallas Cowboys. He's bounced around since then but he'll be known for making that one big play that sent the Patriots to Superbowl 46.


1. Antwan Harris

Unlike the previous four, Harris didn't have just one moment in the sun. He had several that seem to be overlooked as the years go by. Harris was drafted in the 6th round of the 2000 draft just 12 slots ahead of Tom Brady. He was a backup safety to Lawyer Milloy and Tebucky Jones in 2000-01 before becoming an unexpected factor in the 2001 post-season. His first big moment came in the AFC Championship Game in Pittsburgh. Trailing 14-3 in the 3rd quarter, the Steelers lined up for a field goal only for it to be blocked. Patriots receiver Troy Brown picked up the ball and ran for the opposite end-zone. When Steelers defenders caught up to Troy, he looked to his left and saw Harris running alone next to him. Brown lateraled to Harris as he went down and Antwan took it to the house for a touchdown and a 21-3 Patriots lead. New England held on to win 24-17 and advance to Superbowl 36. Harris wasn't done yet in the post-season. Late in the second quarter of the Superbowl against the St Louis Rams, Harris popped Rams receiver Ricky Proehl forcing him to fumble. The Patriots recovered and Tom Brady found receiver David Patten in the end-zone for a touchdown. The Patriots went on to win 20-17 for their first world championship. While Harris never made another huge impact like that again, he maintained his reserve role for the following 3 seasons, including starting opposite Rodney Harrison in the 2003 season opener after Lawyer Milloy was cut. Harris picked up two more rings in 2003 and 2004 before moving on to the Cleveland Browns in 2005. So for Antwan to be the only 3 time ring winner on this list...that makes him Number 1.

There's been hundreds of players that came to Foxborro from 2001 to the present and there are much more than 5 guys that have contributed to Superbowl championships and AFC crowns. These 5 men embrace the motto of "Do Your Job" even if their runs were very brief in the timeline. Patriots fans are spoiled with four championships, 6 Superbowl appearances and 14 Division titles in 16 years, so the littany of players is much more broad than a team like the New Orleans Saints that's won just one Superbowl in their 50 year history. There's also been some folk heroes such as Danny Woodhead and Earthwind Moreland, scrappy players like Ben Jarvis Green Ellis, countless offensive lineman who's best work aren't on the stat sheet and even infamous players such as Aaron Hernandez and Albert Haynesworth. Still, for these 5 to jump out of a crowd even if for a brief moment, they deserve recognition.

Bloodsport's 30 Fighters Ranked

Ah Bloodsport. One of the most iconic martial arts movies ever has been seen as a cheesy 80's classic but more importantly, a pioneer for the rise of world kickboxing. One of the selling points of the movie was the full contact Kumite where fighters from around the world put their lives on the line for a shiny sword. Most Americans would think that's preposterous but honor is very big in the East. Featured in the movie were 30 fighters (out of what possibly could have been 200 since guys had multiple fights) of varying degree of screen time and skill set. This kind of list has been done before but either with total humor or certain bias.

The fighters will be ranked on 3 important features.  1. What day they were on, 2. How many blows they landed and 3. How far they went in the Kumite. Number 2 is important because how can we tell if someone's good if they don't do shit? There were several of those guys that will be at the bottom of the list but then we weed them out with 1 and 3. Now people can make fun of them for their performance in a ficticious movie, but nearly every single one of them most likely could have taken our heads off rather easily. So with that, let's begin the top 30.


30. Last Montage Guy

I know what you're saying, who the hell is this guy? I don't know either. That still frame you see is virtually the only frame you see of this guy in the whole movie. Why is he dead last? He throws the lamest looking off the mark punch at Chong Li in recorded history and is dispatched with one kick. How is this worse than anyone else coming up? Chong Li was booked to be the undefeated, cold blooded killer that's killed before and has never lost a fight. If you're up against him and THAT'S the kind of punch you throw, that earns you a one way ticket to last place. How the hell did this guy impress the judges to get into this thing?


29. Sadiq Hossein

Like I said, the only reason he isn't dead last is the guy who is dead last is even more incompetent than Hossein. This guy was the perfect first act heel as a pain in the ass to Frank Dux. When it came time for them to brawl, it turned out Hossein sucked far worse at fighting than he was at closing his hand. Hossein's initial attack was to swing at Frank, but Frank countered by grabbing Hossein's arm. Frank must have Pikachu like electric currents running through his veins because Hossein stopped dead in his tracks. After a few basic chops, Hossein went down. Frank leaned over with his fist cocked and Hossein played dead. I can see if Frank was holding a gun or a knife to him but the mere presence of his fist was enough to scare Hossein shitless. If that wasn't bad enough Hossein tried a sneak attack and his stealth fail not only cost him the fight but his gold tooth as well. Other fighters on this list were only seen in one frame, but they couldn't have possibly been this pathetic.


28. Tsu-Hin

Known more commonly as "Jazzy Jeff" to younger fans and "Ed Norton" to older bastards like myself, this guy's claim to fame is wearing one of the finest looking suits in the whole Kumite. Unfortunately, he's so low on this list by being thrown off the platform by the virtual skill-less Ray Jackson. When an out of shape oaf like Jackson tosses you off a platform with relative ease, its time to retire. Once again, how the hell did he get into the Kumite when Frank Dux had to smash bricks with his bare palm?


27. Henrik Wesslen

Yes, that is the ONLY frame of the movie where this pencil neck is featured fighting. Despite his impressive looking silk pajamas, the non-impressed Pumola put him away with a backbreaker that would have made Kevin Nash give the thumbs up. Once again if that's the ONLY frame in which to showcase this guy, you definitely deserve to be in the bottom of the pecking order.


26. Newspaper Coverboy

A lot of these fighters are ranked at the bottom for having almost zero screen time, and that's mostly an editing thing. Still, we can only judge what we see and the only frame of this guy we see is him getting knocked senseless by Paco. Someone else made the joke that if there was actual press covering the event (and I don't mean Janice), the still frame of this would have made the front page. So for having newspaper quality facial features saved this turd from being ranked worse. Extra extra, Paco Wins Easy Fight!


25. Elbow To The Head Guy

Once again this is the only frame we see this guy in. Why is he here and not lower or higher? Chaun Ip Mung has all his clothes on for this fight. He doesn't have the gold gi top on in any other fight he's in. So for the simple fact that Chaun Ip Mung didn't feel it was necessary to disrobe completely, he must have known this guy was no threat. He was right.


24. Frank's Last First Day Opponent

This poor fellow had the unenviable task of going up against Frank Dux and fell victim to a series of kicks. Why is he here and not lower on the list? The other guys were completely pathetic but at least this guy took a few kicks before going down. Once again we have no idea how a good a fighter he really was since the only frame we saw was him getting plastered by Frank.


23. No Takedown Defense Dude

I said earlier that the important thing to judge a fighter's worth is what day they were eliminated on. Most everyone who fought during the second day had to win at least a few matches to get to that point. However this guy's Day 2 performance was inexcusable. Chong Li literally took the guy down with absolutely no resistance. A wrestler would have at least wizered and any other martial artist would have kicked or punched downward. Even a street fighter could have rolled through that. Nope, not this guy. For that alone he belongs here, lower than some guys eliminated the first day.


22. Mouthguard

I know what you're thinking, if the first guy on the list was pathetic for throwing a pathetic punch, didn't this guy do the same thing? Absolutely, the only difference was at least this was on target, Chong Li just blocked it like the outstanding fighter that he is. This guy was actually smart enough to wear a mouthguard, unlike that idiot Hossein who's knocked out tooth paid for Jimmy the Janitor's vacation in the Cayman Islands shortly after the Kumite.


21. Archer

And now we get to the guys that actually landed a punch or two. This guy here was matched up against Ricardo Morra in the first round and managed to knock him down with a low kick. Then inexplicably he took a swing two feet over Ricardo's head and was defeated shortly thereafter. You have to be pretty incompetent to take a swing at your eye level when your opponent is damn near on the ground.


20. Steve Daw

Why isn't Steve here lower than Archer since he never actually landed a blow? Because Archer made a stupid mistake. Daw here just happened to fall victim to Paco in the first round. He's also this low because he looked scared out of his mind while Jackson was threatening Chong Li during his fight with Asshole (see later). Although he did do a standing backflip so at least he gets style points to go with his broken nose courtesy of Paco.


19. Reale

This Marc Summers lookalike contest winner had some style points for his neon blue karate pants but unfortunately his mode of attack on Toon Ip Mung was to try to stomp on the guys toes. If Moe Howard is your Kumite trainer, you know you're not gonna last long and Toon soon dispatched him. Maybe Marc Summers himself would have stood a better chance.


18. Joao Gomez

Once again we go outside the first day in favor of Gomez here. Why? Because Frank Dux broke his own fucking world record by dispatching this guy in 5 seconds flat. The fight starts with this menacing looking fella flexing and giving the slit throat sign, trying to intimidate Frank Dux. The dude is imposing enough, but Dux spinkicks and rolling jump kicks him off the platform in record time.


17. Budiman Prang

At least Archer dropped Monkey Man, so why is he much lower than Prang? Well Prang had the distinction of being the equivalent of Jay Uso entering number 1 at the Royal Rumble when the equivalent of Triple H was number 2. Prang had a jacked body and a great look but he was matched up against Chong Li and the poor guy was dispatched in world record time. Maybe if he had a different opponent, he wouldn't have looked as sad as he did. Better luck next time Prang.


16. Gustafson

This sad sack's training method was jumping through boards in the beginning of the movie. Maybe that's all he was good for as he stumbled and bumbled in his matchup against Chong Li. Still, making the second day is nothing to sneeze at, it just would have been nice to explain how he got there and have him get some kind of offense in. Then again, he was fighting Chong Li while wearing MC Hammer pants. The weight of the pants most likely negated his board breaking jumping offense. No wonder Chong Li had an easy time with him.


15. Sen Ling

Most put him much lower on the list because he was dropped in the first match of the Kumite, but he got in some shots against Suan Parades who got in some shots against Chong Li.  That's like saying you dated the cousin of the cousin who's friends with the hair stylist of Kim Kardashian. Still, Parades wiped him out pretty quick and Ling ended up being buried under a mound of gambling slips. If I were Suan Parades, I would have ran off the platform, gathered all the slips and autographed them for the sorry bastards that bet against him in that fight.


14. Asshole

This poor boy should be much lower on the list but isn't for two distinct reasons. He's arguably the youngest fighter on the list and most likely had to sneak into the Kumite wearing a Groucho Marx disguise. Also, he was doing well against Ray Jackson until backing off for some inane reason. Most likely he saw one of the Special Ladies in the crowd. Jackson then went into Dragon Rage by knocking this guy cold, breaking his nose and threatening to kill Chong Li who had nothing to do with the fight at all. Unfortunately we never got this dude's name, only that Jackson called him an asshole. What a mean old bastard that Jackson was, beating up the underaged and all.


13. Orange Gi Guy

Deviating from the previous rules, Orange Gi guy is here despite landing no offense. He had a great look and lasted until the second day of the Kumite, unlike most of the others before him. He was matched up against Frank Dux so not much could be done there. Maybe he would have fared better against someone else.


12. Jackson Ng Yuk-Sue

This guy here has some funny trivia attached. He apparently was a legitimate badass martial arts master in real life and the movie director gave him strict orders to go easy on Jean Claude Van Damme while filming. This alone puts him a cut above the other no name fighters on this list, especially if he could legitimately beat the crap out of half the field.


11. Ray Jackson

In terms of fighting skills, Jackson should be at the very bottom. He's a big, clumsy, out of shape oaf who has no skill other than pure power. He can throw guys off platforms and break the nose of underage youths no problem, but put him against Paco, Chong Li or Frank Dux and he's in trouble. Still, you have to give to Ray for making the quarterfinals and having Chong Li on the run. Still, his buffoonery cost him the match and nearly his life by beginning the fight running at Chong Li and screaming. You're against the most dangerous fighter in the world who's undefeated plus killed someone, and your mode of attack is run at him yelling like a maniac? Jackson did manage to drop Chong Li with an axehandle smash but then decided to pull the goosebrained stunt of stopping to chant his name to the crowd. Chong Li could only shake his head while he curbstomped him on his way to the semi-finals.


10. Hung Chi-Sing

Once again you may be asking how a Day 1 fighter could be ranked his high on the list and the answer is he had a great look, fighting style and really put on a show against Chaun Ip Mung. This guy could probably wipe out Jackson and most of the guys in the bottom 10 but just fell victim to a bad matchup. Better luck next time tattoo guy.


9. Little Engine That Could

As we reach the top 10 we now enter the best of the best territory. This guy unfortunately was never named but won our hearts with his performance. Despite standing what looks to be 5 foot 2, this little engine that could brawled his way to the second day and gave Chaun Ip Mung a run for his money before being ultimately defeated. Still, getting that far is nothing to sneeze at so the little fella deserves a lot of praise.


8. Toon Ip Mung

Toon was the training partner of Chaun Ip Mung and did well for himself, surviving the first day. Unfortunately he ran into the buzzsaw known as Paco on Day 2 and suddenly switched his fighting style. After wiping out Reale on Day 1 with Tae Kwan Do, he switched to.....to...I don't know what the hell that stance was but it sure as hell didn't work. His repeated attempt for a spinning back punch was ducked and counter punched by Paco twice, leading to his demise. Still, making it to Day 2 and having a killer look makes him a top 10 fighter.


7. Ricardo Morra

The infamous monkey man. His unique style may have been fun to laugh at but his opponents quickly found out he was no laughing matter. After dispatching Archer on the first day, he fought his way to the sweet sixteen where he met his match against Pumola. Still, to make it to the sweet sixteen with a monkey fighting style puts him a cut above the other lameasses on this list.


6. Suan Parades

Clumsy editing is the reason why Parades was shown early on Day 2 instead of the sweet sixteen where he actually was. After all, in the movie after Parades gets his leg snapped, you can see him sitting in the crowd as the montage continued. Clumsy editing aside, the real life friend of Jean Claude Van Damme and top heel in Kickboxer probably would have wiped out more than just Sen Ling if he was matched up against anyone else besides Chong Li. Even then, Parades got a few shots in and gave Dux the inside track on where Li's weakspots were. Too bad his shinbone got snapped like a piece of plywood but that's the risk you take when you enter the Kumite.


5. Pumola

This big giant sumo made a huge impression by strong arming his way into the quarterfinals against Frank Dux. The big fella wiped out most of the field with his immense size and had Frank on the run throughout their fight. Due to a shady sucker punch to the gonads by Dux, Pumola was ultimately defeated. Making the quarterfinals and nearly taking out the eventual champion puts him in the top 5 for sure. It would have been interesting to see him against Ray Jackson....a true Godzilla vs King Kong storyline.


4. Chaun Ip Mung

Now we got the four semi-finalists that made it to Day 3. Chaun Ip Mung was unfortunately the victim of Chong Li's personal vendetta against Frank Dux and his death was mourned by all in the arena....for about 5 minutes until the Finals started. Still, Chaun fought hard by eliminating at least 3 opponents on the way to the semi-finals and gave Chong Li a run for his money. His bell ringer had Chong dazed but he stopped to clap his hands in celebration which allowed Chong Li to gather himself and finish the ass kicking. Did he learn nothing from Ray Jackson's gaffe the previous day? It would have been interesting to see Chaun fight Dux or Paco in the semi's, especially Paco since Paco was the one who knocked his partner Toon out of the Kumite. Still, the honorable mention goes to Chaun Ip Mung may he rest in piece.


3. Paco

The Muay Thai oriented Paco has become the cult favorite in the 30 years since this movie came out. The legitimate muay thai master put on arguably the second best heel performance after Chong Li and his bad attitude really aided his fighting style to establish him as a badass. His semi-final match with Frank lit up the crowd for Day 3 and his demolishing of the competition showed that he belonged in the final four. It would have been fun to see him and Chong Li try to out-heel each other, but Paco should be thankful he got matched up against Frank. After all, Chong Li would have killed Paco instead. Congrats Paco, you win the bronze medal.


2. Chong Li

The ultimate badass and the movie's top heel. The undefeated (until the end) grand champion of the Kumite, Chong Li. The 49 year old defied age and time by wiping out nearly the entire field with little resistance along the way. Only 3 guys were able to land any kind of offense on him and two of them were only minor annoyances. Still, for someone pushing 50 to be the runner up in a full contact Kumite would put him on most guy's number 1 list. Not here though, he didn't win it. I don't know what Chong Li would have done with the sword had he won, it wasn't like he needed it to snap legs or kill people. He may not have won the sword, but he sure as hell deserved to win the silver medal on our list.


1. Frank Dux

Jean Claude Van Damme himself would have been knocked flat according to Frank Dux himself....or so he says. Frank plows through the competition with relative ease, only running into resistance from Pumola, Paco and Chong Li himself. After using shady tactics to dispatch Paco, he dropped Paco after a kicking contest and was graciously provided all the time he needed to make the big comeback against Chong Li. With the cheesy victory over Chong Li, Frank won the coveted sword for his Shidoshi, thus capping off an incredible week where he won the Kumite, got laid, went AWOL from the army and beat up Chinese police with no repercussions. So for that, we salute Frank Dux, our number 1 fighter.

So that wraps up the 30 Bloodsport fighters. If the movie was 20 minutes longer with extended fight scenes, the list would have been even better. Can only imagine was left on the cutting room floor. Just one last thing......Haji....HAJIME!!!!

The Top 5 Banned Pokemon Episodes

Kids love Pokemon but network bigwigs did not like 5 particular episodes to a certain extent. Most episodes push the envelope of violence anyway with Pokemon battling each other but parents and network alike felt that five of them deserved to be pulled for one reason or another. The reasons for these episodes vary and some are open for debate, so we'll start from the least offensive to the most offensive. Remember these cartoons were designed for children so any adult reading this has to bear that in mind.

Number 5: The Tower of Terror

The first two on the list were pulled for the exact same reason but for entirely different content. This episode is nothing to shake your fist at in terms of offensiveness The story is Ash, Misty and Brock stumble upon a haunted house run by Gastly, Haunter and Gengar that pull pranks on their terrorized guests. In the end Ash realizes that they only want friends to play with and he convinces Haunter to come with him to help him win a badge, isn't that a happy ending? The episode itself wasn't the reason it was pulled but for the title. As with Number 4 on the list, Tower of Terror was temporarily pulled from American syndication due to the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. While Tower of Terror has nothing to do with terrorism in the storyline, the name supposedly triggered New Yorkers who were suffering in the aftermath of the attacks. So until the heat died down, Tower of Terror was temporarily shelved. Nowadays the episode has been restored in syndication. This is the perfect segue into why Number 4 was pulled.


Number 4: Tentacool and Tentacruel

Also banned following the September 11th attacks was this hard hitting episode. The story is Ash, Misty and Brock encounter a batshit crazy lady that's building a resort vacation spa but had to drive herds of Tentacool and Tentacruel out of their homes to do it. The natives are very upset with the interlopers and decide to fight back by destroying the city in retaliation, taking Meowth as a hostage to survey their message ala Brent Spiner in Independence Day. Tentacruel is actually referred to as the "gangster of the sea". The story has a happy ending where Ash convinces Tentacruel to stop the carnage if they're allowed to keep their homes. After the September 11th attacks, network bigwigs felt the episode was too close to home to fans that suffered through the attacks and seeing buildings destroyed was not in their best interests. Just like Tower of Terror, this episode was temporarily pulled from American syndication. It has also been restored to syndication in the many years since.

Now the first two episodes were a victim of bad timing, the next 3 were more notorious and a lot more controversial which led to their banishment.



Number 3: Beauty and the Beach

This controversial episode is the most sexually oriented one of the series. The story is Ash, Misty and Brock hit up the beach for a good time but tear up a restaurant that they now have to pay for. How do they pay for it? Misty has to win a BIKINI CONTEST in order to pay off the restaurant owner. If that wasn't bad enough, ASH'S MOM is one of the contestants along with the dastardly Jessie and James of Team Rocket....yes, JAMES of Team Rocket. Now this episode was recorded in Japan and was brought over to American television to be redubbed except for one infamous scene. In the Japenese version, Misty confronts Jessie and James in the back and James BOUNCES HIS INFLATABLE TITS AROUND much to Misty's dismay. In the American version, this scene is cut but its still available in the Japanese version. Obviously you can see why this episode is rarely played on American television and why the inflatible tits scene was never dubbed in English. As adults, the episode features no nudity, bad language or gore so we don't think much of it, but this was a children's show so bikini contests and inflatible tits isn't exactly what you want your child to see.

Now while Beauty and the Beach had a scene removed, the final two episodes were flat out never released in the US or dubbed in English. The next two episodes are up for debate in terms of what's more offensive or damaging. Both of them were rightfully pulled from television and for entirely different reasons. In my own opinion, I chose what I chose as Number 2 for a reason I'll get into in just a moment, but again, its up for debate.


Number 2: Electric Soldier Pokemon

The infamous Porygon episode is actually nothing to complain about in terms of the storyline. Ash, Misty and Brock endure the virtual reality world to assist Porygon into defeating Team Rocket. Nothing overly offensive here, but that's not the issue. The issue was in one scene Pikachu rips a thunderbolt that causes strobe effects. The strobe effects caused a legitimate SIX HUNDRED children to be hospitalized due to epileptic seizures. Obviously with that kind of backlash in Japan, the episode was never released to American audiences. This one is a no brainer on why it was pulled, people really did suffer seizures.

Now you can debate whether this or Number 1 is worse, but I'll pick Number 1 for one reason. I myself do not suffer epileptic seizures so I was able to safely watch the episode with no consequence. My wife also watched the episode no problem. Now obviously a lot of people WOULD suffer seizures from this, but not everyone. If certain people are unaffected, it obviously can't be considered the worst or most offensive. Which leads us to Number 1.....


Number 1: The Legend of Dratini.

Bad timing, suggestive sexual content and possible seizures can be debated on whether or not the episode should be banned or not, but this one there is no debate at all. The story begins innocently enough with Ash, Brock and Misty singing and dancing through the Safari Zone for your enjoyment. Isn't that lovely? Well the enjoyment turns to terror when the Warden of the Zone PULLS A FUCKING GUN ON THEM. If that wasn't bad enough, the Warden soon POINTS HIS FUCKING GUN AT ASH'S HEAD....but wait there's more! The reason the Warden is so unfriendly is he's guarding a legendary Dratini. Team Rocket gets wind of this and while Ash, Misty and Brock are wandering around, they take the Warden hostage and James POINTS THE WARDEN'S GUN AT THE WARDEN'S HEAD.....WHILE MEOWTH IS DRESSED AS ADOLPH HITLER!!! You can debate this or Porygon as the most deserving to be banned, but I go with this one for usage of guns and Meowth dressed as arguably the most evil mind of the 20th century.


There's also another way to grade these episodes and that's by asking "Would I let my children watch this?" In terms of most offensive, Electric Soldier Porygon and Tower of Terror don't belong on the list at all. If your kids don't suffer from seizures, the Porygon episode is nothing to scream at. Tower of Terror also had nothing overly offensive for the kiddies. These two were banned for different reasons but are not overly offensive. Number 3 would be Tenacool and Tentacruel. Cartoon violence is a given in most action shows, and while the episode does go over the top with city destruction, it does have a teachable message for children. Much like how Native Americans were driven off their land by settlers, the Tentacool and Tentacruel were driven off by batshit crazy lady only to return for revenge. You can watch the episode with children and educate them on legitimate history. That leaves Legend of Dratini and Beauty and the Beach. Would you let your children watch either episode? If the James scene is included, that's a big fat NO! After all, cartoon violence is a given but what in the name of God possessed the writers of a children's show to put big bouncy, barely concealed breasts into a script? Still, concealed breasts and suggestive themes fail in comparison to Meowth dressed as Hitler and guns pointed at people. Would you let your kids watch that? Most likely not.

So there you have the top 5 banned episodes and two different ways to grade them. Whether they have offensive content, were a victim of bad timing or put you in the hospital, they all had something that network executives and parents didn't want you to see. You've been warned.

The US Express and The Orient Express (3/2/16)

For the past 3 seasons I nicknamed the tag-team of Koji Uehara and Junichi Tazawa "The Orient Express." For the past 3 seasons they have lived up to that billing, forming a 1-2 punch that terrorized AL hitters in the back end of the bullpen. A freak injury felled Uehara and overwork shut down Tazawa at the end of last season. The record books show the Sox finishing 78-80, but they also blew 5-6 games down the stretch relying on "Mean" Jean Machi and Alexi Ogando to close out games.

To relieve the stress on the Express, the Red Sox traded Wade Miley to Seattle for Roenis Elias and Carson Smith, the side-armed phenom. The Sox also traded mega prospects Javier Guerra, Manny Margot and Carlos Asuaje to San Diego for closer Craig Kimbrell. Kimbrell and Smith both had ERA's under 2.60 last season.

So if Tazawa and Uehara are the Orient Express, then its safe to call Smith and Kimbrell the US Express. After all, Kimbrell is one of the hardest throwing relievers in the game and Smith has the savy of an Uehara. By themselves, the US Express would be formidable. Combine those two with the Orient Express and you have a back end bullpen that's 4 men deep. Imagine Clay Buchholz going 5 innings, Smith pitches the 6th, Tazawa pitches the 7th, Uehara the 8th and Kimbrell closes it. Not that you want your starter to go just 5 innings, but its nice to have that kind of relief if needed. The Sox last year burned out Tazawa because Alexi Ogando, Edward Mujica, Anthony Vavaro and Robbie Ross Jr early on couldn't get the job done. Mujica and Ogando are gone, Vavaro is a longshot to make the team and Ross became their lefty specialist last year. If the Sox are in contention, a guy like Ross could be valuable down the stretch when you need to get that one specific batter out.

It seems to good to be true for the Sox to have 4 stars out of the bullpen. In 2004 they had Alan Embree, Mike Timlin and Keith Foulke. In 2007 they had Hideki Okajima, Manny Delcarmen and Jonathan Papelbon. In 2013 they had Tazawa, Uehara and Craig Breslow. That's not counting the lefty specialists (Mike Myers in 2004, Javier Lopez in 2007) either.

The talk around baseball is the New York Yankees trio of terror consisting of Andrew Miller, Aroldis Chapman and Dilan Bentences. If the Orient Express and the US Express can match them, the Sox will be in good shape to battle for the AL East this season.

Red Sox Defeat Northeastern For Double-Header Sweep (2/29/16)

I did not see this game but the Boston Red Sox continued their college winning streak against Northeastern (13 in a row) with an 8-3 thumping.

Sean O'Sullivan got the win with 2 innings of work, striking out 4 and allowing 2 hits.

Heath Hembree replaced him and struck out the side in the 3rd.

William Cuevas pitched the top of the 4th and allowed just one hit.

Kyle Martin allowed an un-earned run but struck out the side in the top of the 5th.

The only dud came from Danny Rosenbaum who allowed 2 runs on 2 hits and 3 walks in the top of the 6th.

Justin Haley pitched the top of the 7th and struck out 1 in a clean inning.



Meanwhile on offense

Bryce Brentz homered.

Yoan Moncada was 2 for 2 with a run and an rbi

Josh Rutledge scored 3 runs.

Chris Marrero (not Devin) got a hit in his only at-bat

Devin Marrero (not Chris) went 0 for 2

Mike Miller (who played in the BC game earlier) went 0 for 1

Chris Dominguez was 1 for 3 with an rbi

Brennan Boesch was 1 for 3 with an rbi

Henry Ramos stood around in right field

Cole Sturgeon stood around in left field

Tzu-Wei Lin scored a run

Sandy Leon went 0 for 3

Ari Solis went 0 for 1

Ryan LaMarre was 1 for 2 with a run scored

Forrest Allday stood around in centerfield


  What does all of this mean? Virtually nothing since it was a split squad spring training game in February. Still, for the fringe players that have a long shot to make the team ala Jackie Bradley Jr in 2013, you want to come out of the gate on fire. Sandy Leon and Ari Solis going 0 for 4 combined isn't going to help their chances to supplant Blake Swihart and Ryan Hanigan. Still, its early and there's 56 guys battling for 25 roster spots. That means 31 guys are going home or to the minors. But for what its worth, the Sox are 2-0 in Spring Training...whoopie.

Spring Training is Upon Us (2/28/16)

Another year begins tomorrow when the Boston Red Sox opens their Spring Training season in a split squad doubleheader against Northeastern and Boston College.

The questions entering the season are as follows:

Will David Price buck the trend about pitchers being done after 30?

Will Hanley Ramirez be able to make the transition to first base?

Will Pablo Sandoval eat himself out of a job?

Will Craig Kimbrell be able to handle the stress of closing in Boston?

Can Dustin Pedroia stay healthy?

Can David Ortiz have one last good year before retiring?

Can Xander Bogaerts, Mookie Betts, Blake Swihart and Carson Smith built on their successes last season?

Will Christian Vazquez' arm be able to stand the strain of a full season?

Is Rusney Castillo the real deal?

Can Jackie Bradley Jr hit above his weight to balance his wizardry in the field?

Can Clay Buchholz stay healthy?


 All these questions will be answered eventually. In the the meantime, there are Spring questions that will be ask.

Who will be the "next man up" in the rotation if someone gets hurt or falters?

Can Brandon Workman return to his 2013 form?

Who will win the long relief role?

Who will be the 25th man?

Is Eduardo Rodriguez' knee okay?


With the split squad games tomorrow, the Sox have a month to get their act together. We're going to find out real quick if Hanley can play first base, if Vazquez' arm is sound and if Sandoval's weight will be a problem. The real purpose of the next month will be to take a look at the top stars of Pawtucket and see if they can hang with superior competition.

Let the games begin!